


Pranks & Cupcakes

by KierenWrites



Series: SHIELD Girlfriends [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Natasha Romanov, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, BAMF Maria Hill, BAMF Sharon Carter (Marvel), Bisexual Character, Bisexual Clint Barton, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Maria Hill, Lesbian Sharon Carter, Natasha and Clint adopting SHIELD agents, Natasha and Clint the resident little shits, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 18:46:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13619445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KierenWrites/pseuds/KierenWrites
Summary: In which Sharon gets hurt and Maria has to figure out what the hell happened.





	Pranks & Cupcakes

Maria had seen Agent 13 around SHIELD, but she'd never spoken to the other woman. At least not until she ended up in the infirmary. Usually, that wouldn't have even caused Maria to blink, let alone go talk to her, but this time was different. Sharon had been stabbed by another SHIELD agent, a newbie who had bitten off more than he could chew if his condition - broken nose, bruised ribs, and more than a few bruises - was anything to go by.

As soon as Sharon saw Maria, she winced and sat up on the bed she had been laying on. Maria waved off the doctor and agent that were hovering nearby as she approached. If Sharon’s condition was life threatening they wouldn't have let her in the room, whether she was the Deputy Director of SHIELD or not.

There were several ways she could approach this, but whichever approach she ultimately went with needed to get her to the truth. Somehow, Maria doubted the agent who had stabbed Sharon was the only one at fault here. Unless, of course, he was a spy for another agency. SHIELD, and Maria by extension, had no shortage of enemies.

Before she could speak, however, the other woman had beat her to the punch. “I take full responsibility for this incident, Agent Hill. I provoked him and he attacked me.”

Maria studied Sharon for a long moment. There was nothing overly suspicious about what she had said, but Maria didn't think that was the full story. Even if she had provoked the other agent, him stabbing her seemed like a bit much. Not to account for the injuries he had sustained.

Maria shifted her weight, keeping her gaze locked on the other woman’s. “No offense, but I don’t think so.”

“Excuse me?” The look of shock on Sharon’s face might have made Maria laugh in any other circumstance, but not just then. “You think I’m lying?”

Maria didn’t have to give her an answer, if the way she suddenly looked away and refused to meet Maria’s gaze meant anything. Maria had to suppress an eye roll - some of these agents were downright terrified of her and, while it could be useful, it could be really damn annoying, too. Sharon was already injured and it wasn’t like Maria was going to kick her while she was down, but maybe Sharon didn’t know that. They hadn’t ever really spoken to each other before this.

“I’m not accusing you of anything, Agent 13.” Maria paused long enough that Sharon had to look up and meet her gaze. “I simply want to get to the truth.”

Sharon didn’t immediately respond, but she didn’t look away either. Every second that went by left Maria wondering just how bad the truth was if she was that reluctant to tell her. Although, Maria doubted it was nowhere near as bad as half of the things she’d had to deal with regarding Tony Stark. That man was nothing if not persistently annoying.

Maria wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, staring at each other, but eventually Sharon sighed, reaching up to tuck a lock of blond hair behind her ear. Maria couldn’t help but track the movement before returning her gaze to Sharon’s. “It’s...really stupid, okay? I didn’t think he would attack me.”

Maria simply arched an eyebrow and motioned for her to continue.

“Well, you know how Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff like to prank the new agents?” Maria nodded, pretty sure she knew where this was going. “Well Agent Anders kept saying all this crap about how SHIELD plays favorites. Like with Barton bringing in Romanoff and letting her join SHIELD instead of killing her. Plus he kept saying all this bullshit about how all the women here were nothing more than eye candy.” Sharon looked uncomfortable now, like she would rather be anywhere else. Maria could relate. “Well, Barton overheard him and I just so happened to be in the room at the time when he went to tell Romanoff.”

Sharon suddenly stopped talking, eyes fluttering closed as her eyebrows pinched together in what Maria could only guess was pain. She waited several moments until Sharon let out a shaky breath and opened her eyes. “Sorry about that. I -”

Maria waved her apology off. “There’s no need for that. I understand that you’re in pain. We can do this later, if you like.”

“No, that’s okay.” Sharon scooted over to the side, leaving just enough room for Maria to sit. “You can sit if you want to. Promise I don’t bite.”

Maria rolled her eyes but took a seat on the edge of the bed, being careful not to touch Sharon. She didn’t like to touch the other agents unless she was sparring against them. And she didn’t spar with many agents nowadays. “You sure you’re alright?”

Sharon managed a weak smile. “I’m fine. I think the other guy is worse off than me.”

Maria snorted, but didn’t disagree. She could only imagine how Natasha and Clint were going to react once they found out what had happened. From what she could tell, they had gotten pretty close to Agent 13 after she saved Clint on a mission that could have gone very badly if she hadn’t been there.

“Well, anyways. I suggested we prank him and you know the two of them. They were more than happy to oblige. I wasn’t sure what exactly they had in mind, but it became pretty clear the next day. We were in one of the training rooms when Romanoff came up to me. I wasn’t too sure what she was doing since we don’t really spar, but then she gave Anders a pretty pointed look and I got the picture.” Sharon snorted out a laugh, but then winced and fell silent for a long moment.

Maria couldn’t help but be amused, even though she really shouldn’t condone that kind of behaviour in her agents. “Let me guess. You and Romanoff were the ruse while Barton did something I’m going to wish I could claim plausible deniability for?”

Sharon nodded, but it looked like she was fighting back a laugh. “I didn’t find out what it was until later, but I get why he was angry. Clint took all of his clothes and replaced them with a skin tight bodysuit, like what Natasha and I wear on missions. Plus a pair of high heels. You can suffice to say he wasn’t very happy.”

Maria shook her head, but she was more amused than anything else. “Well, I don’t think you’re the one at fault here, Agent. It seems like he got what was coming to him. I’m sure that once Romanoff and Barton get back they’ll have something to say about what happened.”

Sharon groaned. “I swear the two of them have adopted me. They’re so overprotective.”

Maria couldn’t help but smile. It was kind of cute how Natasha and Clint had taken to Sharon. “You should consider yourself lucky. The two of them don’t trust many people and they seem to trust you.”

“I don’t know about that. I think they just like having someone else to pull pranks with.”

“Well, there is that.” Maria shook her head in amusement at the memory of the cupcake incident. The only time they had ever pranked her and was highly classified. She wasn’t sure why she suddenly wanted to tell Sharon about it. “You ever hear about the time they pranked me?”

Sharon was staring at Maria now, eyes wide. “They what?”

Maria smirked. “It was the one and only time. Maybe one day you’ll get the details out of me, but just know that I no longer trust cupcakes.”

Sharon snorted out a laugh, but then slapped a hand over her mouth like she couldn’t believe she had just done that in front of someone who was technically her boss. Maria just smiled and patted Sharon’s knee before she got to her feet. “Don’t worry about getting any backlash from this incident, Agent 13. I will personally make sure the correct parties are punished for this.”

Maria found herself thinking it was cute how flustered she had seemed to make Sharon, but immediately slammed the door on that thought before it could go anywhere. Even if Sharon was interested in her, SHIELD agents dating one another led to nowhere but disaster. Natasha and Clint seemed to be the exception to that rule, but Maria would be surprised if there was anything or anyone that could get in between those two.

She paused in the doorway, flashing Sharon one last smile over her shoulder. “Barton and Romanoff should be getting back from their mission sometime today. I’ll send them your way as soon as they’ve been debriefed. Just…” She cleared her throat, trying to keep her voice neutral but not quite managing it. Despite her best intentions, she was worried and it showed. “Just focus on getting better.”

Sharon managed a small smile in return as Maria turned her head and left the room. The whole way back to her office, Maria couldn’t help but chastise herself for getting personally involved in this case. She should have let someone else handle it, like one of the higher up agents that reported to her. Instead, she’d let herself get dragged into it and now she was responsible for dealing with the fallout.

The rest of the day dragged on but, sure enough, as soon as she’d finished Natasha and Clint’s debrief she gave them the news that Sharon was in the infirmary. They took it about as well as she had thought they would and if the look in Natasha’s eyes meant anything Maria had better put Agent Anders in protective custody if she didn’t want him dead. Not that she was very inclined to protect him. If he wanted to attack someone under Natasha and Clint’s protection, he knew exactly what he was getting himself into.

The paperwork for the whole thing was a tangle of red tape that she wished she could shove onto someone else. By some miracle - and by miracle she meant 10 cups of coffee and determination - she managed to get through all of it before heading home for the day.

She had to be back in the office early again the next morning, but despite knowing that, sleep didn’t come easy. By the time she made it in to work she’d already been through two cups of coffee and was starting on a third. Already running through everything she needed to get done that day in her head, she didn’t see the cupcake sitting on her desk until she almost squashed it with a pile of folders.

She stood there staring at it for a long moment before sitting the folders on the other side of her desk and reaching out to pick up the note sitting in front of the cupcake.

**Promise this one doesn’t have any explosives. Or poison.**   
**It’s vanilla with chocolate frosting. Enjoy!**   
**-Sharon :)**

Maria didn’t know what to think, but just the thought of Sharon caring enough to leave her a present left her feeling strangely warm. The handwriting didn’t look like either Natasha or Clint’s, but Maria couldn’t be sure. She just had to hope Sharon wouldn’t set her up for one of their pranks.

She couldn't help her smile as she took a seat and reached out for the cupcake. As “thank you”s went this one wasn’t half bad.


End file.
